American Idol Season 8, NY/Puerto Rico Auditions

American Idol producers were fresh out of sob stories last night (or they’re holding back a few for Hollywood Week) as they wrapped up the final week of audition episodes with a combination of singers from New York and San Juan, Puerto Rico. Thank goodness it’s over. I don’t know if I could take much more of the reactions people have to hearing they sing poorly. I mean, did they really have NO idea?! It could get a little depressing after a while.

I anticipated great things from the New Yorkers, who Ryan Seacrest boasted were known for their confidence. Adeola Adgoke had so much confidence in her voice that she had already handed in her resignation letter. Here’s a little note-to-self: if you’re going to an audition or interview and need your job as a source of income, don’t quit! Just take a vacation day, so that when you fall flat on your face, like this girl did, you can still afford to eat. Simon must’ve been freshly napped because he offered to call Adeola’s boss and ask for her job back. Luckily, her boss agreed, and Simon looked like the good guy…for once.

Melinda Camille and Jackie Thom brought two very different vibes to the New York auditions. Jackie had a “rocker chick” vibe and told us entertaining is all she really knows. While Melinda, who reportedly dances in her room naked and wants to “uplift humanity to a place of love and positivity” with her music. Hopefully she’ll be spreading that love with her clothes on!

Melinda sang an energized “Feelin’ Good” and gave Kara DioGuardi her ‘vitamin boost,’ while rocker Jackie chose one of my favorite songs, Jason Mraz’s I’m Yours.” And she killed it. Not like, nailed it killed it, but she literally butchered that song…or maybe it was just her voice she butchered, but when she was singing I flashed back to Carol Channing’s song in Alice in Wonderland. Even Simon needed a second song to hear another version of her husky voice, and it was better. Both women received approval and a Golden Ticket from all four judges. Jackie got hers with a warning from Simon (and maybe even a sign from above when the window shade crashed to the floor) to not be asking who she should be as a performer.

Another auditioner who appears to be confused about who she really is, Alexis Cohen, appeared in New York calming herself with a chant that she said was Buddhism, and dressed in her Sunday best. Which is quite the 180 of her rocker chick persona that gave the AI floating logos and censor beeps quite a workout after being rejected last season. Alexis seemed like a changed woman…for a second. When Ryan asked her how she felt watching back last years' reaction, Alexis thought it was funny. But this year, she had different fingers for Simon…‘two thumbs up.’

The old Alexis made a cameo appearance after she sang “Like a Prayer” and Simon told her it was fairly horrendous and that he thought she’d actually gotten worse. ‘Well thank you,’ Alexis replied, with floating AI logos covering her hands as she exited the room with a series of censor beeps as her background music. Hopefully, her bi-polar meds were nearby!

A total of 26 contestants received Golden Tickets in New York. The best ones were only seen in the brief montage of winners, including a kissing couple, who I can only imagine are being saved for the drama of Hollywood Week when one makes it and the other probably won’t.

Puerto Rico’s 9 Golden Ticket winners included Jorge Nunez who sang in Spanish (duh) and at the request of judges, a second song in English. Kara said she felt more emotion in the Spanish song, and Simon said they were there because they wanted someone with an accent, otherwise they ‘would have ended up in say, Omaha.’ I think this may be his funniest season yet! Paula thought Jorge had the power of Mark Anthony, and Randy thought it was ‘brilliant, dawg.’ Jorge was the final contestant aired to receive unanimous approval from the judges.

Flat out NOs included Jessika Baies, who traveled with 9 family members (disturbingly dressed in matching outfits) all the way from Michigan to San Juan! She said she fundraised in her area for the trip and that she’s won numerous (“like 700”) contests and had a list of well-known people she has sung with… but she whined and stomped and jumped up and down like my two-year old when the negative feedback started rolling in. In her defense (and that of all the judges who awarded her in previous contests), I think we should chalk it up to nerves. There were some nice parts of her voice, but she was trying very hard to have a powerful (read: loud) voice that it came off as ‘shrill,’ like Paula pointed out.

Puerto Rico’s “Crazy Rocker” Joel Contreras brought the funny…or so he thought. I was a fan of his human ipod or Guypod routine, complete with clicking sound effects as he scrolled for his song choice. But he lost me when he whipped out the cheesy lion puppet and sang “Circle of Life.” He received 4 NOs. I wasn’t shocked, but Joel was very happy, and ran out to do a celebratory flip in the pool wearing a superhero costume. Whoa.

New York’s funny man was Norman Gentle, who I had a hard time believing was really under the 28yr old age limit…more like 38! He ran into the audition room in sweatbands and geek goggles. Simon reminded everyone he hates comedy and Norman whipped off the sweatband and glasses and sang a song from Dream Girls (way to get serious, Norm!). Simon and Norman exchanged words, Norman insulted Simon a bit, and Simon decided he rather liked Norman. Norman thought maybe a little “Amazing Grace” would change their minds. And he did an okay job…with the first few lines…and then turned it into a show tune! Simon of course refused to approve Norman for the competition, but Kara and Paula thought he was funny and tried to swing Randy their way. Randy voted, “Yes, whatever,” and a shocked Ryan greeted Norman in the hall while I picked my jaw up off the couch. Cue the cricket noises ’cause I do not know how that happened!

And this is where the AI judges decided to prove me wrong. Yesterday I mentioned it seemed to be all 4 YES votes or all 4 NO votes for the contestants aired on these episodes. And last night, we were finally shown some split decisions (all of course, overshadowed by Simon Cowell’s exclusive right to say yes to anyone).

16yr old Monique Garcia Torres brought her younger and much more confident brother into her audition. She sang a song from the Supremes, and one older Celine Dion song, very sweetly. I thought she had a great voice, but Simon cut her off and told her it would’ve probably been “better for you and your voice to choose someone more in your range.” I’m assuming he meant age range. And he was probably right. Kara didn’t know if her voice was fully developed yet and Randy thought she’s ‘not quite ready, baby.’ Paula liked Monique and Simon flashed her little brother a pouty lip, told her he thought it was too old fashioned and cabaret, but gave her another shot.

Patricia Lewis Roman thought maybe because her parents had been married in the same venue as the auditions, that she’d have good luck. She sang “I Want to Dance with Somebody” in a good, albeit loud voice. Simon and Randy agreed it wasn’t good enough, but Kara thought she could sing. Simon gave Monique “30 seconds to change our minds.” She sang a sweet and quiet Spanish ballad, which changed Randy’s vote to yes, but Paula said no. Simon decided to send her through to Hollywood, and the whole Lewis Roman family burst into a parade in the venue, complete with drums!

And so ends the audition episodes of American Idol Season 8. There will be four Hollywood Week episodes spread out over the next two weeks (February 3rd, 4th, and 9th from 8-9pm and February 10th from 8-10pm). Idol is rumored to show more behind-the-scenes Hollywood footage this year, giving us a better glimpse of who’s off jumping in pools while they should be rehearsing with their groups. And I’m thinking we have a lot more of the contestants’ stories to hear during Hollywood week, since they’ve really only touched on a handful of the 147 contestants who received Golden Tickets. How great is it that AI has extended my favorite part of the process? HOLLYWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

On a totally off-topic note, how much did you love the H+R Block commercial with the Cyclops pushing the wheelbarrow full of money down the sidewalk on the way from ‘his people’ who took a second (get it?) look at his taxes. And then there was his Cyclops buddy who “Can’t believe my eye!” HA!