Thursday, March 20, 2008

They're Out There

You know, some people might look at this pic I took out my back window this morning and think, "Aaah, Spring has sprung." Pssht. I happen to think, "Damn, I wish I had a gun." Why? 'Cause I'm a redneck hunter beotch who enjoys spraying myself with deer p!ss and falling asleep in the woods with a gun hunting? NO. 'Cause they scare the sh!t outta me! Stop laughing. Ok, it is kinda funny. I mean, EVERYone else I know laughs at me. You might as well, too.

What is the first thing you do when you see a deer in your headlights? Brake, right? Want to know what I do? Hit the door lock button. Yup. I lock the doors while braking. I don't know why. Maybe I'm suppressing some sort of bad deer experience. Hey, it happened to this guy

KingKong says, "What're they gonna do, come in the car?" *gasp* Do I have to remind you what happened on the movie "Are We There Yet?" or that older movie with David Spade and that fat guy in it. Crap, I forget the name. Anyway, my point is this Deer + Car = Not Good. And Deer + House? There are children in here!

I just peeked out the curtains. They're still out there. Don't worry, I deadbolted the door.

4 comments:

Heather J. said...

My sister, who by the way, is a redneck hunter beotch...is deathly afraid of chickens. Seriously, chickens. Feel better?

My God woman.......you have more children than me! I thought I was a busy girl. You win.

Jenni said...

I'm not afraid of any furry creatures, but my sister is terrified of everything!

Her son was playing with a black snake he caught one day, when it started wrapping itself around his neck.

She told me later she seriously considered just letting him get it off on his own, b/c the thought of touching the snake was so horrible!

Wendy said...

Love your blog title. Just found you through a comment on Testosterhome. Here are the reasons I like your blog: I love monkeys, I have 3 boy monkeys of my own who swing quite a bit and fling poop occasionally, I live in an isolated area where deer roam our property - I love them, saw 15 the other day - only we just moved here and trapped at home with two little ones, I don't really know anyone - besides my monkeys, that is. I'll be back to visit your blog again.

justmylife said...

I pull my feet up in the seat when I run over a snake. I guess I fear it will come through the floorboard or something. See, not crazy, feel better? There are other nuts out there too! heh